By Doug Wright
His nails get comments from women everywhere we go. The unaware might conclude that he must be a delicate lad. They would be dead wrong. He is 6 feet tall and weighs 134 pounds, with every muscle right where it should be.
Robin has many years in the workplace – with his relatives in the big paper mills, as a professional welder, and as a chopper in the big woods for many years. He once worked chopping for three grapple skidders using a large chainsaw.
He can drive all the big woods machines and he can get underneath them and repair them too. He recently worked as a cross-country trucker and he is even licensed to adjust brakes on the big rigs. All this from a skinny guy with long, perfect nails.
To top it all off, my sweet, protective boy is also highly trained in taekwondo (he has an aunt with Korean connections). I truly pity the redneck fool rash enough to twit my sweetie about his beautiful nails. Myself, I put up with them. I like macho, working hands.
To be fair: Robin is quite patient and can get along with just about anyone. One of his special talents is guiding groups on long mountain hikes and they all like him a lot. But he also has spent many years in the bars, squabbling and fighting, and can take care of himself as well as me.
For all the good ole boys: he has done the whole drug scene over the years and all by himself came to the conclusion that he was watching all his friends kill themselves and gave it all up except for prescribed Mary Jane for pain.
You can’t tell a thing by looking at someone. First impressions are usually wrong anyway. Robin is poorly educated but very bright. He has a retentive memory, which means he remembers every thing he hears, so be careful around him.
He was raised without parents. His grammar is atrocious and I spend lots of time looking at the ceiling. He also talks like a trucker. He has a rich supply of adjectives, richly applied to his conversation. He has many skills, from horsemanship to teaching archery and riflery.
It would be a mistake to judge his intelligence by his grammar. Robin is quietly and for years has been an international chess master. He beats everyone many times over and no longer can find anyone to play chess with him. I gave up long ago.
To quote Sir William Gilbert: “Things are seldom as they seem; skim milk masquerades as cream.”
Robin was recently examined by a prominent spine surgeon for his scoliosis disability claim. The doctor asked him to walk down the hall in a straight line. Robin did, and the doc said, ‘Can you do it on your toes?’ Robin did, and the doc said, ‘I can’t believe you were able to do that! How did you do that?’ Robin replied: “I wear heels!” Made the doctor blush bright red!
(Doug Wright lives over Head Tide Hill in Whitefield. He welcomes feedback at firstname.lastname@example.org.)