Robert Bobby Whear stands outside of The Lincoln County News in Newcastle on April 3, 2023. Whear, a longtime bartender, co-owner of The Mill Pond Inn in Damariscotta Mills, and a community fixture, died Friday, Jan. 17 after battling the blood-based cancer leukemia. (Paula Roberts photo, LCN file)
Anyone who has passed through the Damariscotta area since the late 1980s and stayed for any amount of time likely ran into longtime bartender, innkeeper, Great Salt Bay Sanitary District Committee member, and public television host Robert “Bobby” Whear, of Damariscotta Mills.
Whear, a fixture in the Damariscotta area and co-owner of The Mill Pond Inn, died Friday, Jan. 17 at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston after a battle with the blood-based cancer leukemia.
“He was everything to us,” said Becky Freddo, Whear’s stepdaughter. “He was full of life, love, and energy; he was just an amazing man who lived life to the fullest.”
Whear grew up in Marblehead, Mass., where he cemented his love for music and hockey, both of which became lifelong passions.
Whear first came to the area in 1986 when he and his wife Sherry bought a house in the Damariscotta Mills that they would turn into The Mill Pond Inn. The inn became a nexus of community connection through events he put together on the property, which later led to the development of other businesses.
In a 2021 interview with Whear, he said at one of those parties, the future owners of King Eider’s Pub in Damariscotta were in attendance, Larry and Sherry Schneider, and he convinced them the area needed a pub.
Clark’s Cove Farm & Inn owner Tim Cheney, a dear friend of Whear’s, said Whear was who showed him the property that became his business.
“Bobby was an extremely compassionate person with a tremendous zest for life,” Cheney said. “He was an ambassador, a connector, the mayor of Damariscotta … one of my closest friends … if anyone needed anything, you called Bobby.”
While working as an innkeeper, Whear also bartended at the former Backstreet Landing in Damariscotta, Coveside Restaurant and Marina in South Bristol, The Anchor Inn in Round Pond, but perhaps most famously at the Damariscotta River Grill where he started bartending in 2001.
Rick Hirsch and Jean Kerrigan said Whear bartended on and off with them since 1988 when they took over the lease at The Anchor Inn in Round Pond. The couple later went on to found the Damariscotta River Grill in 2001 and owned the restaurant until 2019.
Since Whear and the couple were friends prior to their employee-employer relationship, Kerrigan said they agreed to prioritize that in the work place.
“(Working with Whear) was a roller coaster in a good way,” Kerrigan said, laughing. “Friends first, work would have to be second.”
Whear bartended at least two days a week at the Damariscotta River Grill since its opening. During his tenure, he made the restaurant’s upstairs bar his own, as his collection of 300 signed hockey pucks, sports memorabilia, and music posters became an essential part of the character of the bar as much as Whear himself did for customers, according to Kerrigan and Hirsch.
“He was just like that,” Kerrigan said. “He just had this ability to connect with people. He was a romantic; he just wanted it to be the experience of a lifetime, in every different circumstance.”
Hirsch said everybody has a story about Whear, and Whear himself always had a story, which was part of his charm.
“He was an amazing storyteller, he just loved to tell a story,” Hirsch said. “Whether it was the dining room at the inn or the bar, he was a ‘Let me tell you something’ kind of guy,’ who definitely loved life. I’m a better person for knowing Bobby Whear.”
Damariscotta River Grill bartender Eben Keller said he worked with Whear for nearly 10 years and that Thursdays were always Whear’s day.
“It was always an experience,” he said.
Whear’s influence extends beyond the immediate community and his absence will be felt by his friends, family, and patrons from all over, according to Keller.
“You never knew who was going to see him, Bobby, had a tremendous impact that resonates throughout New England,” he said. “(His patrons) are going to be devastated.”
While Whear may have been famous for his bloody marys, Keller said he learned about creating a good atmosphere for his guests by watching Whear.
“The whole idea of service is creating an environment for your guests. Bobby believed bartending was like being on stage,” Keller said. “You’re the focus and you provide this environment where guests feel comfortable.”
In a 2021 interview for The Lincoln County News’ “Characters of the County” feature, Whear said one of his proudest accomplishments was helping to create the Lincoln County Recovery Collaborative in 2016, which provides resources for those in need of help with substance use disorder.
Whear said he pitched the idea to former state. Rep. Chris Johnson, D-Somerville, who helped facilitate the program.
“I got all the chiefs of police together, I got the hospital people together, I had doctors come in to teach people how to administer Narcan, and that all started from a lunch that Chris and I had,” Whear said at the time.
When Whear wasn’t bartending or innkeeping, he was involved in local public access television.
Lincoln County Television Executive Director Larry Sidelinger said he’d known Whear for well over 20 years, but the last 10 years the two became closer co-hosting “Wuzzup,” a longstanding talk show during which the two provided commentary about articles in The Lincoln County News and interviewed guests.
“He was so proud of the show,” Sidelinger said. “We took it seriously but we didn’t take ourselves seriously, if that makes sense.”
Whear had been a longtime supporter of public access television and sat on the LCTV board for a time, during which he started the show about 20 years ago, according to Sidelinger.
“It’s been one of the longest running shows on public access in the state of Maine,” Sidelinger said.
Whear was a larger-than-life character who Sidelinger said always had a story to share and remembered the ones people shared with him.
“If you met Bobby Whear you had a friend for life — he had an unbelievable memory, except when finding his glasses,” Sidelinger said, laughing. “(His death) is a devastating loss to the community, he was a true character.”
For the time being, Sidelinger said the show will be going into hiatus with its future to be determined at a later date.
LCTV has put together an online fundraiser to help defray the costs Whear’s family accumulated from his prolonged stay in the hospital. Those interested in donating can go to gofundme.com/f/in-memory-of-bobby-whear.
Freddo said her stepfather was a compassionate man who was always thinking of others and had recently become more involved in the Bremen-based Hearty Roots, an outdoor-based community wellness nonprofit facilitating connection between people and nature. In lieu of flowers, she said the family is asking those to consider making a monetary donation to the organization in Whear’s name. Services have not yet been announced.
In an Instagram post his grandson Dylan Freddo wrote about Whear, Freddo said his grandfather left an unforgettable mark on those who knew him and inspired all who watch him life with such energy and heart.
“You’ll always be with us,” Freddo said. “You changed all of our lives forever.”
Information about a celebration of life and funeral service has not been released yet by the family.
