By J.W. Oliver
Newcastle resident Steve Gracie stands next to his pickup truck in Newcastle Monday, Jan. 12. The case in his hand contains chemotherapy drugs. Gracie has terminal cancer, but wants to use the time he has to help other patients. (J.W. Oliver photo) |
A Newcastle man with stage 4 cancer is sharing his peace of mind and positive, seize-the-day outlook with other cancer patients, caregivers, and survivors through a new cancer support group.
Steve Gracie, 59, also continues to split wood for a living and plans a three-week vacation to Pennsylvania’s Amish country this spring, despite the ravages of chemotherapy.
Gracie was diagnosed with cancer almost three years ago, on Feb. 13, 2012.
His health prior to his diagnosis was “perfect,” Gracie said. “I was a healthy teenager, healthy early adult. I cut and split wood for a living, so I have a strenuous job.”
He visited his primary care physician to ask about some strange symptoms.
“My neck kept snapping and cracking and my fingers would go numb,” Gracie said.
His primary care physician recommended a colonoscopy, “and two days later I had cancer,” Gracie said. The diagnosis was stage 4 colon cancer. It had already spread to his liver.
The doctors gave Gracie two to five years to live and recommended chemotherapy.
Gracie did not handle the diagnosis well at first.
Eventually, “you come to the realization that you’re going to die when God’s ready for you to,” Gracie said. “I have the best doctor and nurses you ever would want, but the head surgeon gets to make the call, and that would be God.”
So Gracie set out to place his affairs in order.
“I paid for my cremation. I have a grave lot. I have a will,” Gracie said. “All the things I need to have taken care of are done, because when you come to the realization that you’re just going to be prolonged and you’re still going to die, you need to take care of things so you don’t leave your spouse hanging or in debt.”
Next, Gracie wanted to help his wife and others gain the same peace of mind, so he set out to start a cancer support group. He could not find a group north of Portland.
For a year, Gracie struggled to find a home for the group. Finally, he met Jan Burns.
Burns is the executive director of the new Freedom Center at 633 Gardiner Rd. in Dresden. The center offers support and temporary shelter to people in various life crises.
Burns offered The Freedom Center as a meeting place for Gracie’s support group. “If it hadn’t been for Jan Burns, there never would have been a place for it,” Gracie said.
The group meets from 7 to 8:30 p.m. every Thursday. It met for the first time Dec. 4, 2014 and will hold its seventh meeting Jan. 15. Christmas and New Year’s Day fell on Thursdays this year, and Gracie was there. Three others showed up on Christmas.
So far, six people regularly attend the group – two cancer patients, two caregivers, and two survivors of people who died of cancer – although Gracie hopes to see more. “Anybody can go who has been affected by cancer,” he said.
“They can talk about anything they need to talk about,” he said. “If somebody wants to talk about (cancer) or if you want to talk about the potholes in the road, it’s just a group of people trying to help one another.”
“There’s no material gain … Nobody gains,” Gracie said. Reconsidering, he said, “Just through peace of mind, and friendships.”
Gracie’s wife Debbie attends the meetings, and he hopes she will meet caregivers and survivors who will help prepare her for the inevitable, “because there is no doubt I’m going to die,” he said. “It’s just a matter of when.”
The group is “wonderful,” Debbie said. “It opens up communication for everyone.”
Meanwhile, as the three-year anniversary of Gracie’s diagnosis approaches, he continues to undergo round after round of chemotherapy and deal with its effects.
“He works even during the chemo and the doctor has said, since he continues to work and split wood, it has helped with his mental state,” Debbie said. “Keeping active is one of the best things you can do with cancer.”
Gracie said he stays busy so he does not have time to dwell on his cancer, “because that’s the worst thing you can do, is sit around and sentence yourself to death.”
He takes joy in simple pleasures, like a drive to Dunkin’ Donuts and then to Pemaquid Point to watch the waves crash against the rocks.
He hopes to inspire others to take the same approach.
“I just want to encourage everybody to get out – instead of just sitting around the house – to get out and do something,” Gracie said. “Get up and do it, because you don’t know how many more days you’re going to be able to do it.”
He still has bad days. Some days the chemotherapy makes his fingers so sore he cannot turn a key to start his truck, and he has to wait two or three days to regain his strength. He also deals with nausea and the loss of appetite that comes with the treatment.
“That was hard on my mind,” Gracie said. “Now I’ve just come to accept the fact that some days you can, some days you can’t.”
“It’s a day-to-day process is what it is,” he said. “Living with cancer is a day-to-day process.”
Gracie, 59, is from Washington, Maine. He attended Prescott Memorial School in Washington and Medomak Valley High School in Waldoboro. He married early and did not finish school, but he obtained his GED in 1990.
Gracie drove trucks for many years, first big rigs and then gravel trucks. He moved to Newcastle 13 years ago. He has three adult daughters who live in the Belfast area.
Gracie is easily recognizable around town, as his baseball hat and pickup truck bear the logo of his business, Have Splitter Will Travel.
For more information about the cancer support group, call Gracie at 380-1955.