Is anyone else wondering what happened to old-fashioned manners? Probably many are just too mannerly to say so.
The world is changing. I want to know when decorum will come back in style. Until then, I’d like to say that courteous, gentile Mainers are some of the best people you’ll ever know.
My family goes back here in Jefferson seven generations. I was thinking about all this, the generations and the way I was raised and the expectations inherent in my parents’ and grandparents’ example.
I found a list the other day and it fit the way I was raised from start to finish. It’s about 10 things that money cannot buy. I’ll include it at the end of this column. Perhaps some of my readers might want to clip it out for posterity.
I don’t know about you, but I can barely stand to listen to the ill will that is blasted on the radio, the news, and the tweets. When did it become acceptable for our leaders to say anything they want about other worthy human beings? I was taught that if you can’t say something kind, don’t say it at all.
Or how about this: “Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don’t say it mean.” There are plenty of possibilities in that one short slogan.
Before you speak, stop and think about the manner in which you relate your particular “truth.”
Being a hospital chaplain and a minister, I hear many opinions about the state of the union. People are worried about being politically correct – yet the main thing is to be able to see through the deceit that lives in the center of insults.
Patients and parishioners alike tell me they are filled with dismay that our leaders can’t work together, can’t talk to one another with civility, and can’t solve anything because they are too busy commenting on the latest remark that their “opponent” just said.
The last I knew we weren’t supposed to be in the business of constantly being opposed to one another. It’s a union, the United States, and to spend an entire term in office trying to make the opposite party look bad and get oneself re-elected for the next term is a far cry from real governing.
If you think ignoring the problem is a good answer, just remember how much it’s worsened in the past few years. People rarely call the culprits out when bad things are said about decent people. It’s becoming ordinary to say awful things about others for the sake of trying to make themselves look good. There are few facts connected to name-calling and insults. It’s a childish ploy based on striving to be on top. All good parents teach their children it’s not acceptable. Why do we accept it now from so-called adults?
One answer is that foul talk about someone’s character comes soaring through cyberspace on tweets so quickly that it’s blasted into the universe and consumed in the blink of an eye. Like hearing something crude on the radio or seeing a violent segment on television before you’ve had a chance to turn it off – the words drop into our consciousness and we are affected. Yet we continue to listen and continue to dip into the constant barrage of “comments” about worthy human beings that are contemptuous.
Consider this: cruel tweets about others are basically desperate attempts to garner attention and create drama. Drama in the sense of our everyday lives becoming more about lies and control every day. Don’t be fooled into thinking that something is the truth when a person is merely trying to attract attention. Lies are often couched in drama. Inflated words have little foundation in the facts. It’s that simple.
If you have children and grandchildren, be certain to set a positive example: help your child find out what is the truth. If you take a stand for something – and there is nothing more important than the truth — don’t underestimate the example you are setting. The lives of the coming generations depend on knowing how to treat others, speak truthfully, and live honestly. These are the hallmarks of a civilization that cares about others and will succeed.
Here is the list of things money can’t buy:
1. Manners
2. Morals
3. Respect
4. Character
5. Common sense
6. Trust
7. Patience
8. Class
9. Integrity
10. Love
