Looking over the seed catalog at Apifera Farm. (Photo courtesy Katherine M. Dunn)
There was much chatter coming from the barn as I arrived for evening chores. Pickles had already alerted me earlier in the morning that the much anticipated seed catalog had arrived. When I entered the barn, the animals were enthralled with the pictures.
“Mrs. Dunn, do you have a pen? My pencil won’t work on the order sheet,” said Pickles.
I found myself fumbling through my bibs for a pen … and stopped myself.
“I think it’s best if I write out the order,” I said, my mind remembering the year large quantities of beans arrived in the UPS truck, all addressed to “Earnest the pig.”
“I know you all want sunflowers, correct?” I asked.
All hands went up.
“Mrs. Dunn, there’s a new variety of green bean I’d like to try… stringless,” said Earnest the pig.
“Stringless? I approve, those bean strings get between my teeth,” said the old goat Poetry.
Little Pancakes, still the baby of the group, had never ordered seeds before.
“Can I order pancakes?” he asked.
“No, just vegetables and flowers,” I said.
He sat on my lap and looked at the pictures as the pages turned.
Just then, Ollie came flying across the room.
“Mrs. Dunn, I don’t want vegetables this year. I want a topiary shaped like an elephant,” he said.
“That’s not practical, Ollie. They have to be grown and manicured by a professional landscaper,” I said.
“Mr. Dunn is a landscaper and he works for that landscape company and they seem professional,” Ollie said.
“True, but I don’t think they’d be interested in making a topiary, and it would cost a lot of money,” I said.
Ollie flew off to his paddock, unphased. Not much get’s Ollie down.
Little Hannah approached me. “Mrs. Dunn, I want to grow cheese,” she said.
“That would take a cow,” I said.
Pickles squealed, “Are we getting a cow?”
“No cow,” I said.
“Actually, Mrs. Dunn, we could grow cheese from goat milk. We just need a pregnant goat,” said Earnest the pig, glancing at the elder goat ladies.
“Nope, not going to happen. Been there, done that,” said old Poetry.
“Hannah, how about you grow some basil, then I can get you some cheese and you can eat it in a cheese-basil sandwich,” I suggested.
“Grilled? With some Grey Poupon on the side?” Earnest the pig asked.
“Well, I’m ordering zinnia seeds in all sorts of colors, and then Stink Cartwright and I are going to hand out flowers to people,” I said.
Stink Cartwright, the resident dwarf mini pony, heard his name and came running over.
“Flower power!” Stink said.
“Why does Stink get to hand the flowers out?” asked Pickles.
“Because I’m stinkin’ cute,” Stink said.
“But I have Pickles Power!” said Pickles.
“You can both hand out flowers, they’ll be plenty,” I said.
Later that night, sitting by the fire, Mr. Dunn showed me a drawing.
“Did you leave this in my work bag?” he asked.
And there before me, was a crude drawing of a topiary shaped like an elephant.
(Katherine Dunn, of Apifera Farm in Bremen, is an artist and writer. Apifera, a nonprofit, takes in elderly and special-needs animals and shares them with elder people. Learn more at katherinedunn.us.)
