The Goose and Dorphy among friends. (Photo courtesy Katherine Dunn)
I heard the voice of Earnest the pig, talking to me through a cracked window in the living room.
“Mrs. Dunn, you are needed in the barn now. Dorphy has to talk to you,” said Earnest.
When I got to the barn, I could tell something was off. It was silent, but then I heard a bleat from a goat. It was Dorphy, one of the elders.
“Mrs. Dunn, today is my day,” the old goat said.
Dorphy was lying in one of the smaller rooms of the barn, a normal gathering spot for the animals in the front barn. The Goose was close by. I had noticed The Goose was staying close to Dorphy in the last months and I knew what that usually means – an animal is ill or transitioning. I had seen it over and over. He gravitates to the needy, and watches over them if needed. He did this with Birdie the llama, the old pig, the cancer-ridden dogs, and many goats. I learned right away that The Goose was a very good hospice caretaker. The night before, I noticed Dorphy walking very slowly to the barn, with The Goose walking slowly with her.
“It’s a good day to go,” said the old goat Poetry.
“I think so,” said Dorphy.
Hannah came running over to Dorphy.
“Where are you going?” the little youngster asked.
“I am dying today,” Dorphy said.
“Mrs. Dunn, Dorphy is dying!” Hannah cried.
“Child, do not cry for me, smile for me. I have all I need here, and I will have all I need there,” said the old goat.
“You mean … you’re going to Here There Everywhere?” asked Hannah.
“That’s right,” said Dorphy.
“Well that’s different. That’s were White Dog is,” said Hannah.
“And Birdie the llama! And my mama!” said Ollie the goat.
“Are you scared?” asked Puddles the goat.
“Well, it is the unknown. But it feels more like a trip, an adventure …” said the old goat.
“I think of death that way too, Dorphy,” I said. “I guess the only thing is I can’t share it with anyone left behind. I can’t write a story about it or paint a picture.”
“But isn’t that the beauty of it?” asked Earnest the pig. “It is all yours and yours alone.”
I spent the morning in the barn, finding little chores to do so I could look in on Dorphy every so often. She was in and out of sleep, and in time, the sleep was taking over. Earnest the pig was nearby, writing in his journal, Pickles and Puddles were chasing flies, the rooster was crowing and Henneth the blind chicken was sitting on her nest attempting to lay an egg. Life was all around us.
Dorphy suddenly perked up out of sleep and said, “It’s like falling asleep while your family and friends are still laughing and talking in the living room. It’s like a lullaby. It’s like leaving the party first, that’s all.” And she lay her head down and died.
(Katherine Dunn, of Apifera Farm in Bremen, is an artist and writer. Apifera, a nonprofit, takes in elderly and special-needs animals and shares them with elder people. Learn more at katherinedunn.us.)
