By Doug Wright
A dirt bath in Whitefield. There is no water, but plenty of dust! (Photo courtesy Doug Wright)
What next?
I fall asleep sometimes wondering what I will write about this week. What’s going on? What are folks talking about? Frankly, I am sick and tired of hearing about who uses what toilet. Most folks don’t care. Mind your own business and get it over with.
I have given thought to taking a survey in the men’s room at the races. I would hold the news, and a notebook and pen, and ask the guys, “What if a woman walked in?” It doesn’t take much imagination to predict the answers!
Here’s what can be dangerous: my nephew, Steve Carter, told me this happened just a few days ago. His buddy Dave took the bus to Miami and, upon arrival, he took his backpack and suitcase and went to the bathroom. Now, Dave has a little leg problem and he was using one of those short hand crutches, not the armpit kind, the arm extension kind.
He went in and used the facilities and when he went to leave, three big, rugged boys walked up to him and said: “Well, just got in, did you? I see you got all your stuff with you. Now, my man, I want you to hand over your wallet.” “What?” “I said: give me your wallet, or I will take it.” Dave said: “I ain’t giving you … !”
Then, when the guy stepped closer, Dave took his hand crutch, whipped it up, gave the big guy a good, solid poke right in the Adam’s apple, put him on the floor in a helpless heap, and the two other boys beat feet. This just happened, and my nephew asked me to tell all my readers to never take the bus, ever again! So there you have it.
I was lying abed half asleep listening to the radio this morning when suddenly there was Michael Heath ramping up his new attempt to recriminalize gay behavior. Nearly instant acid stomach. I am not going to be so charitable in my future remarks.
I just got my new copy of Out Magazine, a slick glossy that assumes gay folks have lots of money to spend on clothes. They also feature positive news from around the world concerning gay folks. For example: there is a report on how Scotland has just changed its laws to permit gay folks to legally marry. (Wearing full kilts, I hope to the Lord!) And best of all, there is a full-page ad, very well done, paid for by the government of Australia, apologizing to all the previous generations of gay folks who have been mistreated. Now think of that.
Well folks, now on to the important stuff. We have upon us, folks, right now, a serious drought. I checked my flower beds and the soil is powder-dry way down deep, beyond the reach of the roots. And the river today, on Memorial Day, is as dry as it is on Labor Day. The river is very low. Robin went down to swim yesterday and our swimming hole was black with thousands of alewives. I have had to water my strawberries for hours to save the crop. I also watered the raspberries. It’s already 80 degrees. Off to the river!
(Doug Wright lives over Head Tide Hill in Whitefield. He welcomes feedback at douglas.wright22@yahoo.com.)
