If you have been anywhere near a television this week, you are probably familiar with the story of former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice, whose domestic violence case is currently shaking the National Football League to its very foundation.
Rice’s story is not done yet, and it will continue to be reported in a million different outlets for those who care to follow along. For our purposes, however, we get off the Ray Rice train here. He is not the first star athlete to assault a woman, nor, sadly, will he be the last.
We settle on the kernel of this story that is domestic violence, because while we have a pronounced lack of young, rich, and famous athletes walking around Lincoln County, we have plenty of domestic violence victims.
It’s hard to say whether we are seeing an increase in such cases this year, or if it just feels that way, but it certainly does seem like the issue of the day.
Just in the last three weeks we have reported on two cases of alleged domestic violence involving two prominent members of their respective communities.
We can’t speak to what would lead one person to abuse a loved one, but we can tell you that the cases all share similarities that cross economic and social lines. All abusers, be they pillars of their community, itinerant ne’er-do-wells, or everyone in between, share the same seedy impulse to exert power and control over those closest to them. Where that impulse comes from is probably as varied as the individuals themselves.
Of course, law enforcement can always get involved, but police officers can only do so much. They can address the immediate problem; they can separate the parties, they can prepare a criminal case for the D.A. to consider filing, but they really can’t do anything to repair the damage done.
That is what is truly insidious about this crime; how it tears the very fabric of the victim’s life apart, the rending done by the one person the victim relies on for security, stability, even love.
Once assaulted, for the victims, life becomes a series of challenges. Do they have to move? Do they have to divorce? Are they going to have to protect themselves from further assault? If the offender goes to jail, how is the family going to put food on the table and keep the roof over their heads? Having children in the mix adds a whole other layer of difficulty.
Then there is the guilt, the survivor’s self doubt: ‘did I do something to deserve this?’ ‘He/ she didn’t mean it.’ ‘Things will be better if I only do this or that.’
These issues and more are what frequently compels the abused to reunite with the abuser. It is easy to talk about changing your life. On almost every level, it is incredibly hard to actually do it.
If you think you know of someone who is being abused, or if you are being abused, call your local police department.
In a pinch, the folks over at the Lincoln County Communications Center will be happy to help, 882-7332. For information on resources and available support services, call New Hope For Women, (800-522-3304, www.newhopeforwomen.org).
