To the editor:
I feel the need to be transparent about something that has recently caused me sleepless nights and extreme psychological distress. It is possible that I may have colluded with the Russians!
Back in the ’80s, during the Reagan administration, I worked closely with two high-profile Russians: Mstislav Rostropovich and Galina Vishnevskaya. And our interaction was in Washington, D.C., at the Kennedy Center!
We had private meetings, and they shared many secrets with me. I have at least five opera scores – in Russian – in the bowels of my basement. Oh yes, and three symphonies. I have had several meetings and close encounters at the Metropolitan Opera with top Russian opera stars, and I have even eaten dinner with them! I learned Russian from a former retired Russian CIA agent who lived in the U.S. My accompanist-coach was a Russian pianist who studied in the former Leningrad.
Further disclosure: I have Russian sage in my garden, Russian-painted boxes directly from Russia; I have authentic painted Easter eggs and a gold and diamond enameled egg necklace. I even have Russian dressing, tea, and yes, Stolichnaya vodka, in my pantry.
It’s true – I gave money to the Trump campaign. I hope I’m not in big trouble.